Leave the Light On

It’s been so long, I hardly know where to start. But in the back of my mind, while wondering where to start, I find myself simultaneously wondering if the previous sentence counts as a run-on or if “It’s been so long” counts as an introductory clause. Then, I’m impressed that the above thought even runs through my mind. I’ve been brainwashed into not just acting like a teacher but thinking like one too.

And on this day before Thanksgiving, I want to go ahead and give thanks for this day off and the two more days off to come.

And sleep--sleep that lasts until one o’clock.

I’ve some things to tell you about, but first, a little explanation. I think that I’ve been, well, depressed. At first, I thought I felt tired from working so much, but recently it dawned on me that in addition to feeling tired, I also hadn’t been calling friends or going out. I was lost in a TV and ice cream coma.

Why? I don’t know, really. Maybe I feel rabidly insecure about my teaching and taken advantage of by my kids. Maybe I am dissatisfied with adult life. Maybe family stress just got too much to handle. I do know that when I got home from school, the last thing I wanted to do was reflect or, god forbid, connect. I just wanted off.

None of that has really changed, but I think blogging is good medicine for my brain, so I resolve to begin posting again.

Thank you to everyone for checking in on me and wishing me well in my absence. Ya’ll make a girl feel good.

Stories to follow soon.

Comments

[Dan]

New teachers have it tough. Really, I don't know if anyone has told you this but your job for this year is to survive to try another year. If your students learn anything, that's a bonus. Next year WILL be easier and you can really begin to concentrate on making sure students are learning. Keep asking help from the old pro's near your room.

And remember to relax these 4 days, do a little bit of work so next week is easier and don't forget: These 4 days off, 3 full weeks, 2 weeks off, 2 full weeks counting exams and the year is 1/2 over.

I'll keep checking in.

[James Farmer]

Absolutely, my first year if real teaching was a nightmare... and they were adults! If you weren't suffering like hell intellectually, emotionally and physically then you probably wouldn't be doing your job properly, keep on going where you're going and don't stress too much about the TV & ice cream... worry about that when you're running your own school and things are going swimmingly in a few years time.

For now keep it going, don't let the bastards grind you down and it's great to have you back :O)

Cheers, James

[mary]

I'm glad you're back. I know exactly what you mean about the tv and the ice cream. It's powdered donuts with me. And sleeping.

I thought I would have more support than I do. But then again, I didn't know it would be this hard. It's not the "teaching," it's everything else.

[mshoff]

Absolutely lovely to have you back! Very sorry to hear about your need for tv and ice cream - how well I remember my low teaching days, when I consumed large quantities of chips and listened to cathartic pop songs (I've since upgraded to your choices of escapism). I do hope things begin to look up for you; if blogging helps in any way, be assured that you have readers who are eager to support the process. Best!

[hipteacher]

Pop songs still go a long way in my book. Suddenly, I think my "on rotation" sidebar needs to come back to this blog.

[Sig.]

Yay! She's back!

[ms. frizzle]

so glad you're back. I think you ought to edit a little (not much) and give a copy of what you just wrote to your cheating student. you've gone to some lengths to establish a relationship with her, and she needs to know that she has let you down.

for me, it was Nilla wafers dipped in melted chocolate chips, and the internet. take care of yourself. :-)

[shamash]

My first year teaching was worse then death, break-ups, cellulite, and budgets all combined. It is still a blur to me. So, for what it's worth: once you're through year one, you'll be on the upswing again. For me: it was renting "Friends" and "Seinfeld" season videos, and a big ole tub of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia until I fell asleep.

[olivia]

I hear ya, hon. I am just so very glad that your head is still above water, even if only by a little. I am here for you (though I am a smidge disappointed that you misspelled y'all, silly lady!) and hope to hear from you soon-ish.
smoochies,
olivia

[Lectrice]

Welcome back. :)