hipteacher

The Best Laid Plans

They didn't do crap.

Normally, I blame my students, but not this time.  My honors kids are freaky brilliant and really motivated. I bet they were panting for work by Thursday. But did the sub bother to give it to them?

No!

In my feverish delirium, I meticulously prepared fabulous lesson plans for each day of last week. Each day, my fellow teacher ran off whatever was required and hand-delivered the plans and handouts to the sub. She even gave him/her extra explanation of my plans.

Somehow I found all the reading assignments, all the handouts,and all the quizzes in a manila folder on my desk this morning. Untouched.

I did find one thing done. The 10th graders took the 9th graders' vocabulary quiz. Inexplicable.

When I asked 3rd period what they had done, Stoner But Brilliant Boy said, "Dude, we played charades. I, like, played charades for the class for, like, 45 minutes. I'm, like, really good at charades." The rest of the class nodded solemnly. "He really is, Ms. Hipteacher."

Let's Play What's That Freak Illness

Hints:
    1. round the clock painful coughing
    2. no breathing allowed
    3. muy painful back
    4. 6 day fever
    5. increased tolerance for inane television programs (more on that later)
AND WORST OF ALL:
    No school. All week. I'm frightened.

I feel guilty too. It would have been seriously irresponsible for me to go to work with said mystery virus. I mean, it's not like most of my students have health insurance. Plus, I need to take care of myself and get better. I learned that lesson the really hard way a couple years ago. When I was doing Americorps, I got the aforementioned mystery virus (c'mon, you know you are dying to guess!), but I kept working 80 hours a week like a maniac. I ran my body into the ground--and for 140 bucks a week, but whatever--and ended up getting seriously ill. Like, my mom had to quit her job and school and practically live in the hospital with me for over a month. I will never be in that shape again, if there is anything I can do to prevent it. Being 85 pounds and attached to an IV pole-thing is not my kind of party.

Lesson learned.

Then I started working in this industry where people are totally neurotic about taking sick days. Like you. Yes you right there! I've read your blog. I've read about you teaching through 103 degree fevers, still taking the subway and tromping home through 27 feet of snow or whatever. I've read about you putting off surgeries until summer break. It's ok. You can still sponsor the prom and yearbook and student council and have twins and diabetes and a flu all at the same time.

I read your blogs. You teach at my school.

A good work ethic is important. I got that. It would be pretty hard to be a teacher and not value what you are trying to hammer into the kids everyday. I also understand the benefits of not taking sick days. One day you might want to have babies and stay at home with them for a Parisian amount of time, or one day you might realize, ooh!, I can retire, like three years early because I've never taken a sick day.

But I shouldn't have to feel guilty about taking five days (oh, GOD, has it really been FIVE DAYS?!) if I am really sick. But I do. I feel like I should teach from the damn gurney if I have to, if only so I can tell first year teachers twenty years now that I did. So there.

Um. I ranted. Done now.

I hope my kids are ok. The honors class took their first unit test today without me. My 10th grade class will take their unit test on Monday, and I'm supposed to trust that they did their work while I was out.

Oh, right.

That's why.

The Adventures of Hubby and Pimp (in one act)

Hipteacher's cellphone rings. The caller id shows that it is her teacher friend Taiwanese Superhero. Hubby answers when Hipteacher presses answer and then thrusts the phone at his face. Hipteacher is very busy trying to mop the snot off of her own face.

Hubby: Hello
Pimp: Ms H. there?
Hipteacher: Who is it?
Hubby: I don't know, someone's gotten hold of Taiwanese Superhero's cellphone.
Hubby: Who is this?
Pimp: It's Pimp. Is Ms H there?
Hubby: Oh hey Pimp (laughs). Yeah, she's here, but she's really sick.
Pimp: Yeah? When she gonna be back?
Hubby: I think she should be better by tomorrow.
Pimp: Tomorrow?
Hubby: Tomorrow. Look Pimp, you doing ok?
Pimp: Yeah.
Hubby: Are you sure? Is there anything wrong?
Pimp: No, I'm skipping class.
Hubby: Don't do that dude! You'll get in trouble.
Pimp: No man. I'll be fine. Hey, I gotta go.
Hubby: Ok Pimp. You take care man.
Pimp: G'bye.
Hubby: See ya later. Bye.

Big One Day Maybe Stuff

I started a blog for my system technology committee where all the members are authors and can propose and discuss options for our next five-year tech plan which is due at the end of the year. During the last meeting, we discussed a need to bat around ideas without holding more meetings. At first we thought about having setting up a conversation on the school email, but the committee was pretty paranoid about that.

I wish we could be more open. It would be so cool to let the public (i.e. people who know about ed/tech) comment and contribute. Then, when the plan was done, it could possibly assist other schools who are going through the same process. The threat of parent and high-up administration peeking into the process wins out, however, and we now have a very password protected, private blog. I just hope everyone can figure out how to use it.

Here are some of the things on the table so far:
1. A one-to-one computer initiative a la Maine. Now we just have to figure out what one-to-one means--laptops, labs, palms, etc.
2. Email for the kiddies. I didn't know my kids didn't have school email addresses until we were all in the lab setting up new blogs. When we got to the part where they needed to enter their email addresses, they said things like, "Ms. H, I don't have an email" and I replied, "Wha?!" I directed them to Yahoo and Hotmail to set up free emails, but I felt icky doing that. I'd much rather them have the somewhat protection of school email. It did, however, allow me to teach an important lesson about those awful pop-up ads promising wins of $100 to $1,000,000.00. For example:
"No Little Jimmy, don't click on that box. You didn't really win any money. They're trying to scam you."
"Really? Oh," Little Jimmy says in a sad, puppy-dog-like voice, his body slouching down in his chair, the dream gone.
3. Happy-happy-joy-joy-toys like Smart boards and remote-control answering devices

While collecting some links for the new tech blog, I may have found an answer to my extra-curricular troubles. See, I want to do something club-like, but everything I would initially gravitate towards is already taken--creative writing, lit mag, book club (I will be helping), journalism, video production. The Best Practices section of Will Richardson's blog led me to The Beacon School's website. They have a web-cast radio station. I could totally be into that!

Or, my hears--er, ears--are too big for my brain, I've lost at least ten pounds in snot weight, and the Thera-Flu is setting in. Let's all take a moment to remember I am a first-year teacher, and I don't even know what I'm teaching tomorrow yet.

Pieces of Me (sick, sick pieces)

I came home yesterday with a cough and a ferociously tickleriffic throat. After sitting through three full episodes of the Ashlee Simpson show, breathing through my half-way open mouth, I think I can say that I am officially sick.

    "Ok. That totally sounds dubbed," hubby says.
    "How do you know?" I asked.
    "It sounds exactly like her record," he scoffs.
    "And you would know because you've heard her album?!"
    "Ok. You've got a point there."

When I did my inspired-by-music essay with the 9th graders last semester, one frail girl was inspired by "Pieces of Me." After several before and after-school sessions, her essay was still not working and the lightbulb went off.

    "I guess there's not much to that song*, Ms. Hipteacher."
    "Well, the essay really needs to be a narrative. We're looking for a real, full story. I want you to tap into your imagination and create that story from how the song makes you feel, what it makes you think, not re-tell me the story about how Ashlee Simpson broke up with her boyfriend and then wrote a song about it."
    "I think...I think about Ashlee--and her boyfriend. It was so sad. I don't really think a new story. I only think about what happened on the show."
    "Right. So what do you think you need to do to create your story?"
    "Think a story up on my own?"
    "Exactly."

Saving students' taste in music, one essay at a time. Hopefully.

*emphasis added

Help Please

Does anyone know of a Palm OS grading application that will upload easily to Integrade Pro? I'm stick of carrying around my stupid purple clipboard and adding up points every week.

Thanks!

Ten Bits of Holiday Frivolity

Warning: Contains some disgusting linkage

Out of respect for the idea that today is a holiday even though I spent all day reading three different books and grading diagnostic essays (and thanks to Grammar.police for the idea), I give you the first 10 songs to play on iTunes after pressing shuffle. If you don't press shuffle, all you'll get is 50 Cent.

1. Bonnie Somervi, Winding Road (Garden State)
2. Ludacris, Block Lockdown (Featuring I-20)
3. The Arcade Fire, My Heart is an Apple
4. Elliott Smith, Memory Lane
5. Ray Charles, America the Beautiful
6. Joanna Newsom, En Gallop
7. Keane, Untitled 1
8. Xiu Xiu, Clowne Towne
9. Modest Mouse, Heart Cooks Brain
10. Unkle, Back and Forth

Let me take this opportunity to say that although I dig the idea of a girl with a harp, I just don't enjoy Joanna Newsom. Perhaps she'll grow on me. And I enjoy Garden State very much. The movie. The soundtrack. Everything.

Also while we're on the subject of music, I must tell you, risking life and limb, that I teach at a "White Tee" school. We did, however, have a small "Pink Tee" rebellion within the freshling class. My friend Amy teaches at a "Black Tee" school. My kids are scared of her kids, so I'll assume Black Tee's are pretty scary folks. If you work at a school, do you know what color tee your kids are?

Where did all this Tee-talk come from? I don't know. Does it mean our students are in big, scary gangs? Maybe, but I doubt it. After all, I hear my kids talk all the time about "east-side" this and "west-side" that, and I see some related graffiti every once in awhile, but it turns out they aren't talking about gang-identified quadrants of Atlanta but of quadrants within the very small project community near the school. The whole project probably only has one bus stop.

Right.

While I appreciate the vivid imaginations of my wannabe thug students, I wish their taste in music would mature. A little.

We're Not Pimpin'

I offered to let the counselors put Pimp into one of my honors 9th courses.

Clearly, he doesn't meet any of the normal requirements--an "A" average in that subject, high PSAT scores, high other standardized test scores, good work ethic and above-average writing ability. Nevertheless, I think the boy could be pretty darn smart because his humor, besides being school-inappropriate, is flawless. However, his behavior and work ethic is so distracting that there's no way of judging his aptitude.

Due to a scheduling snafu, a counselor placed Pimp into honors American Lit this semester because there wasn't room in any other course. I hear from the teacher that Pimp seemed pretty intimidated by the smart folks. He told me he couldn't goof around in front of "those white folks" because none of them were from his "'hood."

That sounded pretty brilliant to me (to be read like on one of those Guinness commercials--Brilliant!), but the American Lit teacher wasn't having it. Here's where I see both sides and don't know the right answer. I agree that the "integrity" of the honors class should be protected because the extra credit and the rationale for having honors courses is compromised when honors isn't really honors (i.e. kids from other schools who took all honors courses transfer to my school and can hardly cut it in a general level course). On the other hand, putting Pimp in an honors class could be just what he needs to separate him from his element and challenge him. I know the majority of his bad behavior happens because he's bored. Plus, if we're ever going to "close the achievement gap," which is awfully wide at my school, we might need to try some unconventional things. I keep hearing the experts that visit my school talk about how we need to know the individuals who aren't acheiving to their potential and attack the problem at the individual level.

Maybe it wouldn't work. But maybe I wanted to try anyway.

I offered him a place in my honors 9th course. He refused. He was ready to be out of 9th grade courses and into 10th grade courses where he should be. If he couldn't be in honors American Lit, he wanted to be in my general American Lit course.

Then I got to be another teacher that didn't want Pimp. I didn't mind adding him to my honors class of fifteen students as an experiment. I did mind adding him to my full-of-troublemakers-already American Lit class. Pimp is a catalyst. With his added presence, what was once structured and controlled becomes wild and crazy. I would bet that Pimp took approximately 83.75% of my energy last semester, and I'm not ready for that again.

I said no.

Pimp isn't taking English this semester. He'll double up on English next year. And me--add me to the list of teachers who've let Pimp down.

Ms. Punk Rock

Why are students so fascinated with how teachers look?

Sometimes I wear contacts. Sometimes I wear glasses. There isn't any big reason why I have glasses on one day and contacts on the next day. Mostly, I oversleep some days and wake up early on other days. No big deal--except to the kids who make up all these stories about my "mood" or where I was last night (if only I had such a social life!).

Where is that vivid imagination when they write stories, and why am I talking about this?

For the last two days, groups of students, mostly gaggles of girlies, hover outside my classroom.
    "Come here. There she is. There's Ms. Hipteacher!" whispers a girl from last semester.
    "Oh-mi-gawd. . .Hey! Did you see Ms. Hipteacher?" responds her friend, whom I've never taught. Another girl runs up, and together they huddle, gasping.

All I did was cut my hair.

It is pretty short. I can wash it with one hand in two strokes. But it is not orange or pink, and I haven't worn a nose ring in four years. I think of myself as awfully conventional these days, but, for a teacher, I guess not so much.

Cloud Floating

This was the best first day ever!

Now, I've only had one other first day, but still, it went really, really well.

1. Kids from last semester came to visit.
2. Two scary kids that were on my roster were kicked out of school. Sad for them, I know, but I feel a certain guilty pleasure that I won't have to deal with it. I'm kinda tapped out on thugs right now.
3. I was all "mean" to my 2nd period class that is loaded with behavior problems, and they sat and worked in complete silence. This is awful, and I would hate it if my class felt like that all semester, but for the first couple weeks, I want to be all about some business. I made the mistake of being too nice, too fun and too distractable right from the start last semester. Never again.
4. The copier did not break.
5. Neither did the printer.
6. Um, don't hate me because I have an INTERN. Sideshow Bob wanted to get out of Spanish III because he's Cuban or something, and presto I have a copying, grading, organizing, errand-running intern. Brilliant!

Seriously folks, I know kids are better behaved on the first day than they will be later on, but if this semester continues at all like today, I'm gonna have one hella good semester. On the other hand, one thing I've learned about teaching is that each day is a whole new creature. One day could be the worst day ever--cursing, fights and confusion--and the next could be the best day ever--thank yous, recognition for a job well done, a lesson that flows. I've always said I wanted variety in my life.

I feel a little guilty, though. Those honors kids were freaky good, prepared and engaged. My third period honors only has FIFTEEN kids. Wha?! We sat in a circle discussing the origins of genre in literature, and they said bright, goofy and artful things. It felt so good--like how teaching should be. I caught myself thinking, "Crap! I could do this ALL the time."

But that's terrible.

I wish I felt that way about my general classes. I want to. I love my old kids. But--it is so emotionally and physically draining to teach them. Why? Both groups of students have their challenges. Honors kids can be really anal and whiny about grades, competitive and obnoxiously snobby. But, I get to use my brain with them in a way I don't in my general classes. Somehow I think those kind of feelings and attitudes do a major disservice to the regular kids. I should feel as engaged and intellectually turned on with them as I do with those alien children in honors.

On the last post, one of the comments mentioned that I am lucky to teach honors classes as a first year teacher. I am. They let me teach AP English as a student teacher too. My school is so awesome about class assignments. In our department, we all teach everything: honors, general and inclusion. Each semester, we rotate around sometimes teaching two general and one honors or vice-versa. I think it's great for general kids to be taught by the same teacher that does AP. Otherwise, some students and teachers will always feel shafted. I wish more schools and teachers saw the good in doing things this way.