My World Literature class has been reading Dante's Inferno, and they would be able to tell you that thieves inhabit the 7th Pouch of the 8th Circle of Hell. That's bad because there are only 9 Circles in Hell, and Judas is in the last one, so you can see where I'm going with that. In Dante's Hell, a thief lives for eternity naked in a pit where thousands of huge snakes chase after him, binding his hands and feet. Eventually, the snake bites the sinner, and the sinner catches fire and disintegrates into ashes. Like the Phoenix, the sinner rises again, only to return to the snake pit.
So, unless that sounds like a fabulous Friday night to you, don't steal.
Especially when the thing stolen is my lunch.
Note: I sent the above email to my entire school this afternoon. That's right. Be afraid.