Feeling Final

My first semester is over, and you'd think I'd be overjoyed, but not-so-much.

I have, however, learned some very important lessons:

1. Teachering is a female-dominated profession. Therefore, one should expect to give and receive cards, candy and homemade craftiness for Christmas. Start preparing 3 months early with homemade gift baskets or knitted scarves.

2. Do not believe anyone, even when he/she is your department head, when they say final grades for the semester aren't due until after the holidays. They are in fact due exactly one hour after the last exam ends.

3. Only pretend to grade the finals. (?!) As the teacher, you "already know what they should get anyway."

4. Ignore computer gradebook program. Buy throwback, black-faux-leather gradebook and write in it with a number 2 pencil.

5. Blatantly ignore students when they ask to know final grade.

6. Keep a running log of absolutely every conversation you have while at school. Especially make note of conversations with other teachers to help prove you are not one of those teachers that hides in room and only cares about what goes on behind his/her closed door--even if you have collaborated with other teachers on twenty million lessons/units/projects. No one knows what you are doing,even if it seems obvious, and you will need proof.

7. Don't let students give an anonymous sex surveys--even if it relates to research project.

8. Do not believe in cool, interactive, authentic assessment when it comes to finals. Make a 50-100 question multiple choice test to be completed on scan-tron form and sent through machine. (See 2 & 3)

9. Keep very accurate lists of student book numbers. When a student says, “It’s in my locker,” he/she really means, “I tore it apart, page by page, and threw the remains into a sewage drain.”

10. Don’t complain or be grumpy. I guess teachers get enough of that from the kids.

Comments

[nicole]

11. Don't think that your students will wish you any sort of holiday greeting.

[Sherri]

Well, at least you do really know how to sew - not that you will have the time anytime soon.

Glad you survived at any rate.

[Lee]

12. Failing a student makes you feel really crummy, no matter how little work that child did, no matter how many times they fell asleep in class, no matter how much you spoke with the parents and the student.

13. There is nothing like two weeks away from school to make you feel like a whole person again, not just a teacher.

[Shana]

Hey-

I didn't know how to email you on this site so I'm posting a comment.

I'm in Atlanta. Give me a call or email if you are in town and we can hang out.

Shana

ps- awesome blog.

[Lectrice]

Sending hipteacher a heads-up to the latest edublog competition, closing date for noms is 24th Dec: http://www.blogmechanics.com/bob/archives/2004/12/best_educationh.html#comments